When I am challenged to revise a haiku, my reading slows and I perceive several possible meanings….

in the moonlight,

the color and scent of the wisteria

seems far away

© Yosa Buson (1716-1784)

~

this pale winter night

fragrant colours of spring

seem so far away

©️2018 Ontheland

~

a mountain village

under the piled-up snow

the sound of water

© Masaoka Shiki (1867-1902)

~

a mountain village

under a fresh fall of snow

children’s laughter echoes

©️2018 Ontheland

Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #24 Revise that Haiku