clear sky she casts weed killer on the lawn Pale-green grass–cut by the silhouettes of naked maples–bathes in early afternoon sunlight. A few still-winter-clad walkers stride beside the front yard. I witness it through our home office window, my pale face reflecting LED light from an Acer laptop screen. Are you proud of me, Billy…

“Come.” The familiar feelings continue to arise: a dull throb in the joints; aches in the neck, back, knee; the knot in the stomach. The agitating numbness of anxiety, and its corresponding rise of triggering thoughts: “What am I missing? What if something goes wrong? What if I am…” arousal “Come.” The subtle nudge. The…