December 24, 2011

Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Liz call me. They thought about me today. I knew the anniversary was coming, but I forgot it was actually today. I had memorialized my father’s anniversary in haibun. The ones I’d written for Mom remain in my handwritten journals, which I’ve yet to type up and revise.

But my body knew. A listless and yet placid exhaustion remains. It’s more than the day after a week of vigilence for an observation. It’s unacknowledged mourning. My heart knew, as well. From where else could such a silent sorrow come?

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two years. But it has.

Her old desk

I’ve made my own

A glance in the mirror

and I see her expression

on my tired face