“I’m the best there is at what I do.”

—James Howlett/Logan, aka Wolverine

You were my favorite X-man.

I enjoyed your cynical, gruff attitude. So the opposite of the sensitive, people-pleaser that high school bullies loved to target.

I appreciated your no-nonsense fighting skill, and how you “had moves like Carter’s got little pills.” It appealed to the aspiring martial artist who went one for two in high school fights.

& your powers: the coolest! What gawky teenage boy wouldn’t savor adamantium bones and claws, superhuman senses, and a mutant healing factor? Especially one that lacked spatial awareness, had the most mundane senses, and an oh-so-ordinary rate of recovery.

flower moon

in the wilderness

you howl

But I’m not a people-pleasing, bully’s target now, Logan. I treasure my compassion, but I don’t confuse it with sentimentality: codependence is no longer my game. I don’t have your moves, but I trust in my capacity for self-defense. No prime-middle-aged man needs adamantium bones or claws either, thank you. & Mindfulness provides me all of the sensory experience I need. As for mutant healing: I recover well enough.

Everyone has to grow up, so I did. That meant moving on and not looking up to you, anymore. But we still share one important characteristic—the determination to see things through. I don’t quit, any more than you ever did. Like you, I endure the hits and get back up when I’m down.

Although my way of living is not X-man material, that’s alright. It’s enough for me. So thank you for the inspiration and memories, Wolverine.

But I’ve got it from here.

sunrise

out of the wilderness

I sing