Frank J. Tassone

A Commemorative Conflict: a #haibun for #dversepoets

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Their grave rests in Maryrest Cemetary. I haven’t visited in a while–never mind how long. Why do I need to see their stone to remember them?

All I have to do is mow the lawn, and Dad offers me his unsolicited advise on where to plant peach trees. All I need to do is sit at Mom’s old desk, and she asks me where I left my wine glass.

We shared a house with them both for seven years, and with my mother for five more. The downstairs lay uninhabited for a year after she died. We didn’t reclaim the family room until Christmas time, 2017. Our home remains a memorial to them.

So why do I wonder about that grave? Why do I entertain those “I ought to…” thoughts about planting fresh flowers, or placing a wreath-cover in the winter? Why do I wonder…and still not visit?

Memorial Day

a shadow falls on the words

“forever in our hearts”

I’m hosting my inaugural post for dVerse Poets’ Haibun Monday! The pub opens at 3:00PM EST. Come join us!

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Comments

25 responses to “A Commemorative Conflict: a #haibun for #dversepoets”

  1. Bjรถrn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Bjรถrn Rudberg (brudberg)

    To live in the family home must be so special… I’m not sure I could ever do that. I’m so grateful to have a home our own… though my family home is still there so i wonder if it will happen or if we will sell.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      It proved to be a difficult time, to be honest. I was the last one to agree to the arrangement. We prefer having our own home.

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      Reply
  2. sarahsouthwest Avatar
    sarahsouthwest

    This haibun reminds me that the dead don’t rest in their graves, they rest (or not!) in our hearts and minds.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      So true! Thanks, Sarah! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

      Reply
  3. kanzensakura Avatar
    kanzensakura

    No, we don’t need the stone to remember them. But sometimes, we need that touchstone. My parents rest in an old country church yard and it is maintained by the parishoners. I go back twice a year to clean off the graves and to maintain them. It is a long journey. I do it because I miss them – all my relatives there. I spend all day placing new wreaths and pulling weeds. I eat a picnic meal with them and share what has been going on in my life since last we visited.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      Sounds like a wonderful way to remember them all! Thanks, Toni! ๐Ÿ™‚

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      Reply
  4. Glenn Buttkus Avatar
    Glenn Buttkus

    Most of my loved ones were cremated, so there are no cemeteries calling my name. A hundred years ago, it was more common to have your folks live with you in their fading years, but it seems to be rare that the children move back in with them for the twilight watch. I can see where it might be rife with family drama

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      Especially when my father and wife’s consumate Type-A personalities clashed! LOL!

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  5. gillena cox Avatar
    gillena cox

    It’s important to remember love, and to store it i our hearts
    Thank you for dropping by my blov today Frank

    Much๐Ÿ’“love

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      My pleasure! Thank you, Gillena, for stopping by mine, too! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  6. robtkistner Avatar
    robtkistner

    Beautiful Frank. Well written. Memories of loved ones lost do not require a headstone to cast shadows in our hearts. I never visit graves, it is unsettling to me. Those are the dead bones. I prefer them living in my memory. In my life, my wife and I are the inhabitants of the downstairs apartment โ€” for which we are most grateful to my son and daughter-in-law. The double blessing is the joy of my 5 1/2 year old grandson Alex.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      Thank you, Rob! My parents thought of living with of their grandson as a blessing, too! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

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  7. rothpoetry Avatar
    rothpoetry

    Amazing how our parents words are forever imbedded in our brain! Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      Thanks, Dwight! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. kim881 Avatar
    kim881

    A wonderful way to remember your parents, Frank. A grave is a plot and a stone; they never lived there. A lawn where they walked, a desk where they sat, their words lingering in the air, thatโ€™s them.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      Thanks, Kim! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. Charmed Chaos Avatar
    Charmed Chaos

    This is truly touching Frank. My mother lived with us for 8 years until her care became too great. It was not always an easy time, although now I miss her dearly.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      Thanks, Linda! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. msjadeli Avatar
    msjadeli

    Their spirits live on, which you have captured so well in your haibun, Frank.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      Thanks, Jade! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. msjadeli Avatar
        msjadeli

        You are welcome ๐Ÿ™‚

        Like

  11. Beverly Crawford Avatar
    Beverly Crawford

    I share a home with my son and wife, but I’m relatively independent. I pray I sleep away to what comes after before I become a burden. I am grateful to have loving children.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      A true gift to having loving children, Beverly! Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

      Reply
  12. lynn__ Avatar
    lynn__

    Living with parents after you’re married would have its challenges! Well-written, Frank.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar
      Frank J. Tassone

      Thanks, lynn__! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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Frank J. Tassone

Husband, Father, Writer, Teacher. American Haijin. Because Haikai matters!

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