still water
before the gentlest caress
of the wind
learning accompaniment
from listening to silence
for dVerse Poets’ Poetics – Solitude (pubtended by Bjorn)
The pub is open! Come join us!
and Colleen’s 2020 Weekly #Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge No. 176, #Poet’sChoice
Share the love. Spread the haikai:
Categories: haikai, haiku community
You always pack a lot into a tanka, Frank. Your count at 3,7,3,7,7 has the creative form. For me, the piece seems positive and hopeful.
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Thanks, Glenn. 🙂
I find that solitude is a school of hope. It’s isolation that’s the problem.
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So beautiful when a lake is like a mirror with only a breath of air floating by. Well done Frank!
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Thank you, Dwight! 🙂
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A mastergul tanka👌🏾
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Thank you! 😀
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This tanka rolled through my mind like the gentle wind you describe. It is one to savour and read again and again.
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Thank you, Suzanne! That’s high praise, indeed! 🙂
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You’re welcome. I really enjoyed your tanka .
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Good one….
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I agree with Glenn, a positive, hopeful tank, Frank. I like the idea of the wind ‘learning accompaniment
from listening to silence’.
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“from listening to silence”, and then sharing the silence.
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Indeed! Thank you 😀
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Reblogged this on Reena Saxena.
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Thank you, Reena, for the reblog! 😀
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The sky and the water are perfect companions. (K)
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Beautifully calming, Frank 🙂
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This is such an awesome poem! However, I’m confused about your syllable count. I thought a tanka was 57577, but you did 37377 if I’m correct. I’m only a novice to tanka, so this isn’t meant as criticism, rather I’m unsure myself.
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No worries. Many beginners believe the syllable account defines the form. Happens in haiku, too.
The fact is: 57577 was a convenience of translation. The count refers to Mora, based on ona, a Japanese linguistic unit shorter than the English syllable.
Many Haikai in English, particularly tanka, tend to use the short-long-short variation, instead. I usually try to contrast two images in my tanka, with the last two lines forming a type of “commentary.”
Thanks for reading! 🙂
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Thanks so much for explaining.
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You’re welcome.
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I like the accompaniment of silence and the wind caressing the water.
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Beautiful Tanka Frank.
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I love to learn from watching water… it’s in silence where we find the friend of self.
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Indeed. Thanks, Bjorn! 😀
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kaykuala
learning accompaniment
from listening to silence
Very good close Frank! One can never be lonely with any accompaniment
Hank
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Thank you, Hank! 😀
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Such a gentleness I feel here. Nicely done, Frank.
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Thanks, Jade! 😀
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You’re welcome.
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I love the phrase: “listening to silence.” That bit of mindfulness is a lovely reminder. I’ve not seen the 37377 syllable count for Tanka, but why not? My research has taught me that these shorter syllables are closer to true Japanese. Would you use this shorter version in Tanka prose as well?
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Indeed, I would. Many English-language writers of Japanese Poetry avoid syllable-counting, as the English syllable is longer than the Japanese oni, a sound unit of Japanese language. Michael Dylan Welch, a haikai poet and creator of NaHaiWriMo, explains:
http://www.nahaiwrimo.com/home/why-no-5-7-5
I’ll write 57577 if it’s natural to the poem. Most times, I write short-long-short-long-long. Jeanne Emrich gives a primer on tanka here:
http://www.tankaonline.com/Quick%20Start%20Guide.htm
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Thanks so much Frank. I’m writing a book of how to write the forms. I’m including citations to back up the data. Would you consider reading my final version before it goes to my editor? I respect your opinions. The last thing I want to do is give incorrect information. I’m not finished with the book yet because of the research. I would name you as a consultant, if that works. Email me and let me know if that is something you would be interested in. Thanks so much for the links. I believe I use the Jeanne Emrich data in my book. 😀
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I would be honored. I’ll email you to discuss the details.
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Thank you. I want this to be a book that people can use. You’ve just made my day! 😀
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