“still water…” a #tanka (5/5/20)

Lake Welch, Harriman State Park, NY

still water

before the gentlest caress

of the wind

learning accompaniment

from listening to silence

for dVerse Poets’ Poetics โ€“ Solitude (pubtended by Bjorn)

The pub is open! Come join us!

and Colleenโ€™s 2020 Weekly #Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge No. 176, #Poetโ€™sChoice

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35 responses to ““still water…” a #tanka (5/5/20)”

  1. Glenn A. Buttkus Avatar
    Glenn A. Buttkus

    You always pack a lot into a tanka, Frank. Your count at 3,7,3,7,7 has the creative form. For me, the piece seems positive and hopeful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Thanks, Glenn. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I find that solitude is a school of hope. It’s isolation that’s the problem.

      Like

  2. rothpoetry Avatar

    So beautiful when a lake is like a mirror with only a breath of air floating by. Well done Frank!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Thank you, Dwight! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. judeitakali Avatar

        A mastergul tanka๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿพ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

        Thank you! ๐Ÿ˜€

        Like

  3. Suzanne Avatar

    This tanka rolled through my mind like the gentle wind you describe. It is one to savour and read again and again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Thank you, Suzanne! That’s high praise, indeed! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Suzanne Avatar

        You’re welcome. I really enjoyed your tanka .

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Nabeela Avatar

    Good one….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. kim881 Avatar

    I agree with Glenn, a positive, hopeful tank, Frank. I like the idea of the wind ‘learning accompaniment
    from listening to silence’.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reena Saxena Avatar

    “from listening to silence”, and then sharing the silence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Indeed! Thank you ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Thank you, Reena, for the reblog! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  7. memadtwo Avatar

    The sky and the water are perfect companions. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. lynn__ Avatar

    Beautifully calming, Frank ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Astrid Avatar

    This is such an awesome poem! However, I’m confused about your syllable count. I thought a tanka was 57577, but you did 37377 if I’m correct. I’m only a novice to tanka, so this isn’t meant as criticism, rather I’m unsure myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      No worries. Many beginners believe the syllable account defines the form. Happens in haiku, too.

      The fact is: 57577 was a convenience of translation. The count refers to Mora, based on ona, a Japanese linguistic unit shorter than the English syllable.

      Many Haikai in English, particularly tanka, tend to use the short-long-short variation, instead. I usually try to contrast two images in my tanka, with the last two lines forming a type of “commentary.”

      Thanks for reading! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Astrid Avatar

        Thanks so much for explaining.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

        Youโ€™re welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Frank Hubeny Avatar

    I like the accompaniment of silence and the wind caressing the water.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Linda Lee Lyberg Avatar

    Beautiful Tanka Frank.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Bjรถrn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar

    I love to learn from watching water… it’s in silence where we find the friend of self.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Indeed. Thanks, Bjorn! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

  13. hank77 Avatar

    kaykuala

    learning accompaniment
    from listening to silence

    Very good close Frank! One can never be lonely with any accompaniment

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Thank you, Hank! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

  14. msjadeli Avatar

    Such a gentleness I feel here. Nicely done, Frank.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Thanks, Jade! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. msjadeli Avatar

        You’re welcome.

        Like

  15. Colleen M. Chesebro Avatar

    I love the phrase: “listening to silence.” That bit of mindfulness is a lovely reminder. I’ve not seen the 37377 syllable count for Tanka, but why not? My research has taught me that these shorter syllables are closer to true Japanese. Would you use this shorter version in Tanka prose as well?

    Like

    1. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

      Indeed, I would. Many English-language writers of Japanese Poetry avoid syllable-counting, as the English syllable is longer than the Japanese oni, a sound unit of Japanese language. Michael Dylan Welch, a haikai poet and creator of NaHaiWriMo, explains:
      http://www.nahaiwrimo.com/home/why-no-5-7-5

      I’ll write 57577 if it’s natural to the poem. Most times, I write short-long-short-long-long. Jeanne Emrich gives a primer on tanka here:

      http://www.tankaonline.com/Quick%20Start%20Guide.htm

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Colleen M. Chesebro Avatar

        Thanks so much Frank. I’m writing a book of how to write the forms. I’m including citations to back up the data. Would you consider reading my final version before it goes to my editor? I respect your opinions. The last thing I want to do is give incorrect information. I’m not finished with the book yet because of the research. I would name you as a consultant, if that works. Email me and let me know if that is something you would be interested in. Thanks so much for the links. I believe I use the Jeanne Emrich data in my book. ๐Ÿ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Frank J. Tassone Avatar

        I would be honored. I’ll email you to discuss the details.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Colleen M. Chesebro Avatar

        Thank you. I want this to be a book that people can use. You’ve just made my day! ๐Ÿ˜€

        Like

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