Losing Snoodles: a #TankaProse

Ellie the Shepadoodle at 1 year old (German Shepherd / Standard Poodle mix breed dog)

11/16/19: loss and longing

She was the second dog in our house. The first, a beagle, had been a “dog-sitting” trial ownership. She, a shephadoodle, came to us under no such pretenses: Dad simply showed up with her.

I fed her dutifully, walked her consistently, played with her as only a devoted eight-year-old could. But that would not be enough.

Mom grew up with a wild phobia of any loose animal. While she ensured I did not develop such fear, she never overcame her own. When Snoodles had rightfully snapped at my brother, after he pulled her tail while she ate, Mom felt the first ping of terror.

I don’t remember Snoodle’s second strike. But I can’t forget the third.

Mom tried to explain what happened. When Mom had come home earlier that day, Snoodles had charged her. My dog had risen up on her hind legs, and had gum-bit Mom on her hand. Somehow, Mom had dragged Snoodles to the detached garage that bordered our backyard and locked her inside.

I cried, screamed, cried some more. It might have rained, even thundered. Mom cried on the phone to my father. I begged, pleaded. I swear to this day I could hear Snoodles whimper and bark.

None of it mattered. Mom could not live with my dog any longer. My father sadly made the arrangements. Soon, the apointed day and hour arrived.

rustled leaves

as the feral cats approach

Snoodles and I

my tears as I walk

my dog for the last time

#tanka #micropoetry #poetry

“rustled leaves…” first appeared in Tanka Poest on Site on May 10, 2019 for the prompt “Animal Friend”

for Real Toads’ Timetravel – Flashbacks with Björn (imagined by Björn)

UPDATE: for dVerse Poetics: Companions (Pubtended by Linda Lee Lyberg).

The pub is open! Come join us!

22 replies »

    • I appreciate your understanding of the fear. Unfortunately, my mom mistook Snoodle’s playful nip for an attack. Still, she exposed me to a leashed dog when I was a baby (or toddler), so I wouldn’t grow up afraid.

      Thanks! 🙂


  1. Damn…. got me teary-eyed reading this. So difficult for an 8-year old boy to comprehend… as I’m sure it was for Snoodles as well. I’m sorry that happened to both of you. I’m a believer that we’ll see our old furry family members again in another time and space. That bond can never be broken even when the heart is.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The funny thing is that Snoodles never did, and likely never would have. Still, Mom never forgave herself for what sending Snoodles away did to me. We never got another dog, in part because she couldn’t bear what would happen if she had to seperate me from it yet again.

      Thanks, Xenia! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh No! This is a flashback there is no way you will forget. However, I do understand her fear. Way back in the 30s, my favorite Aunt was bitten badly on her face. My grandmother never got over it and forbade dogs as pets from that day on.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As an actor, I attended a party. The host had a beautiful Afghan male. One of us knelt down to pet the dog, and the dog bit his nose off, and spit it out on the carpet. So you never know.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, I have the biggest, most painful lump in my throat. You made me cry, Frank. Poor boy, walking Snoodles for the last time. Devastating at eight years old. I was around that age when the dog I had grown up with got “disappeared” – euthanized. The loss was so great, I stuffed it down. It was too great to feel, so I went numb.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What a heart rending tale! I was compelled to send my kittens to a frend’s farmhouse, bcoz neighbours in the building were objecting to their gimmicks. Separations are traumatic.


  6. I sympathise, Frank. After 18 years and a number of fits, we had to have our dog put down. He was my dog to begin with, so I went for a walk with him beforehand and then went in with him while the vet prepared him and gave him the injection. I’ve never known so much pain. That was over twelve years ago
    and he is still irreplaceable.

    Liked by 1 person

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